Frequently Asked Questions About Lost Socks

1. Why do socks disappear in the dryer?
2. Should socks come in sets of 3, including a spare?
3. When you die, do they give you all your lost socks back in Heaven?
4. How mnny socks does a person lose in an average lifetime?
5. Why were clean socks so important to the U.S GI footsoldier in Vietnam?
6. Is there an alien connection to lost socks?

Why do socks disappear in the dryer?

Most domestic dryers are equipped with a back door which leads to a wormhole that goes into a dimension filled with audible color. Socks are no different from any other magna quasar of the seventh ring, and are drawn to this realm instinctively.

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Should socks come in sets of 3, including a spare?

If they did, you would find a way to lose 2 of them.

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When you die, do they give you all your lost socks back in Heaven?

Yes.

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How many socks does a person lose in an average lifetime?

All of them. We come into this world sockless, and we leave sockless.

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Why were clean socks so important to the U.S GI footsoldier in Vietnam?

Read your Army Field Manual. Trenchfoot and other foot diseases can be deadly to a soldier. Rotate two pairs of socks every day. Store one pair in your gear. It was clean socks that led our troops to Victory in Vietnam, don't you forget that. Socks are heroes.

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Is there an alien connection to lost socks?

Please stop asking such ridiculous questions.

Of course there is.

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Revised: January 10, 2008 .